Moje cesta s Cestou I

Tenhle článek bude pro změnu česky a bude o mém putování s Cestou (Journey, Brandon Bays). Minulý podzim jsem prožívala celkem velkou osobnostní krizi. Vubec jsem nevedela kudy kam, proc se mi to deje, co delat, na koho se obratit a o cem to vubec je. Prestoze se splnily vsechny moje sny a ja zila jaksi naplnenym zivotem zenstvi a materstvi, tak jsem se citila prazdna, odpojená, bez významu a energie na zivot. Možná si myslíte, že to byla deprese, ale já věděla, že to není a že tenhle stav je přechodný a že skončí. Jen jsem nevedela, kdy. Konec nijak rychle nepřicházel a já pochopila, že musim hledat, co mi pomuze z tohohle divnostavu ven. Bylo to psycho....doslova.

Potrebovala jsem si to nějak onálepkovat, tak jsem tomu nejdriv dala cedulku "krize stredniho veku". Když jsem si ale přečetla definici krize středního věku podle Dalhkeho, tak to nějak nesedelo. Týká se to prý zejména mužů.  Pak jsem si ten svůj stav identifikovala, že by to mohla byt "temna noc duse". Ve finále to bylo jedno. Měla jsem stále pocit bezmoci, že nic nepomáhá a vy se plahočíte ode dne ke dni. Klid nikde v dohlednu a porad na mě utocilo, že už chci být nějak relativně v pohodě, ale nic necítítím.  Měla jsem pocit, že ten význam života, který jsem měla je totální blbina a nechápala jsem vůbec, jak jsem si něco takovýho mohla za něj považovat.  Nejradši bych se vystřelila na Měsíc a už se nevrátila. 

Po dvou měsících jsem narazila na kurzy kineziologie a jak jsem tak po deseti letech začala opět vnímat, že potřebuju na sobě "zamakat" v oblasti duševního a duchovního vývoje, tak jsem objevila rozhovor s Brandon Bays. Jak jsem poslouchala, celá jsem se třásla, doslova, a brečela. Vůbec jsem nechápala, co se se mnou děje. Nakonec jsem se dozvěděla, že existuje knížka a Brandon bude za dva měsíce v Praze. Knížku jsem si koupila a přemluvila jsem manžela, aby mi dal třídenní seminář jako dárek k Vánocům:). Když jsem četla knížku, tak jsem se opět klepala jako ratlík, když někde byla náhodou vět, že duše se chce vrátit domů, tak jsem brečela jak želva. Třídenní seminář v "očích" mé duše překonal veškerá má očekávání. Makali jsme na sobě opravdu intenzivně od rána do večera. Brandon nám opravdu dávala zabrat úžasnýma cvičeníma, poloprocesama a meditacema. Každý den byl zakončen nějakým procesem. Nejprve emocionální cestou, pak fyzickou a následně takovou, jakou jsme si vybrali. Po prvním dni jsem se cítila, jako kdybych celý den zdvihala činky v posilovně nebo dělala velmi namáhavou fyzickou práci. Druhý den to už bylo lepší a třetí den už mě ani nebolelo v krku:). Kdykoliv Brandon řekla : "Your soul wants to come home, řinuly se mi slzy do očí, ale tentokrát jsem už věděla, že jsou to slzy radosti, že konečně se moje duše vrací, konečně mi nekdo svou metodou pomuže a má duše bude opet v lásce, pravdě a klidu. A byla to nádhera. Celý další týden byl tak trochu jako na houpačce, protože dobíhalo čištění, s tím, že to vaše čištění má samozřejmě vliv na vaše okolí. Ve středu dostala naše Eli horečku a u toho velmi velmi plakala. Nebyl to takový klasický pláč, kdy vítě, že by to byla bolest. Plakala jako by jí někdo umřel. Přicházel z ničeho nic a když už to vypadalo, že přestává, začalo to nanovo. Tento pláč nešel utišit. Neveděla jsem, jak jí pomoci, tak jsem ten pláč přijímala s ní a nechaly jsme ho žít svým životem. Něco potřebovalo jít ven. Ptala, jsem se jestli jí něco bolí. Říkala, že ne. Ani nevím, jak mě to napadlo, ale zeptala jsem se, jestli jí bolí dušička. A naše 2,5 letá Eliška řekla, že ano... Nedokážete si představit, jak mně bylo... Prosila jsem, aby mi odpustila to, co může a ona řekla, že ano. Bylo v tom tolik lásky. Po třetí hodině odpoledne byla už klidná a dokonce i veselá.

Nevím, co to mělo přesně znamenat a třeba se to brzy dozvím, každopádně vím, že díky Cestě se mezi námi něco uvolnilo. I já jsem volnější. Nepotlačuji svoje vlastní emoce. Dávám jim průběh. Ony odchází rychleji než předtím. Mám se víc ráda. Žiju tím pravdivější život bez masky "Já jsem perfektní matka":). Už ji nepotřebuju. Vím, že všechno je tak, jak má být a já to přijímám.  A když probublává něco ze starých schémat a vzorců, je zde vždycky možnost procesu, kde se ukáže o čem to je a co mé tělo říká, že potřebuje vlastně v daný moment řešit:D.

Competitive mothers and saying what our kids "are doing" these days...

I've been planning to write this post for quite some time. It occurred to me when I was in the playground with my daughter. She was 10 months old already walking but wasn't able to walk steadily on her own. There was another mum with two boys. We talked and then she started wondering why our daughter Eli didn't walk on her own. Her conclusion was based on the fact that she was slim. I gasped and just said that she had plenty of time and we didn't push her. 

I respect my daughter's development as it is. It suits her character and she is the decision maker in that area. 

Since then I have seen mums compare their kids with others very often. It's really hard to resist when you see and hear everybody else does that. I admit that unfortunately I've done it too. But I honestly genuinely hate it.  

It starts with innocent "Why aren't you drawing the same way as Peter? Look, what Peter is doing." OR "Oh, your kid is already walking?" Our kid is kind of slow. He doesn't walk yet. She doesn't speak yet. She cannot pronounce properly. Once you hear it all around. It's easy to slip and do the same...

When mums compare their kids with the others, it often happens in front of their own kids. I recommend trying to imagine how the kid must be feeling. I've tried it and I felt anger, humiliation and embarrassment:(. My husband cannot stand when adults talk about kids not being in the best shape or challenges - I don't want to use the word failure because it really depends on the angle that you are looking it from:). He remembers his parents did the same to him. As a result he simply shut down. He didn't want to share anything then. The truth is that he was much older than our daughter is now. Hence it could have been different for him than a toddler. However, I think all kids can sense pretty well if the thing you are doing is or is not in their best interests. I will focus on shutting down in a different article. It's a pretty hardcore stuff...

I used to speak to my mum about the situations when Eli and I didn't have best time. I've stopped doing that. 

Now you might be thinking that I have nobody to share our problems with if we have them. I do. I have my husband. He sometimes offers me a different view:). This doesn't mean we argue all the time and that we must come to the conclusion. We sometimes don't and it's fine for that time being.

Hmm, I could write on and on:). Competitive mother always comes out in me when another mum starts commenting on my daughter's behaviour and I am not willing to get caught in that any more. I don't want to play that game. I wouldn' t like our Eli be telling someone "Oh, my mum is having such a hard time realising what she would like to do. She is anxious and makes me be as well." What do you say? Are you on the same page?:)

:)...

:)...

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to everyone. No article about Easter traditions and photos of the eggs, bunnies, etc. Although I have a small daughter, I somehow cannot force myself to prepare anything for this holiday this year.  The best part about it is that I am not worried about it. I made cheesecake instead of "mazanec" (something like "cross bun") and we made roast chicken instead of Easter stuffing:)). We take it easy on ourselves and relax if possible!

Mum Who Cares:)

Drahé kurzy nejen na výchovu dětí

Nedávno jsem četla dotaz jedné maminky v nejmenované FB skupině, která není zamerena na vychovu deti, co je na kurzu Nevychovy tak skvele. Cena ji prisla velmi vysoka a neopodstatnena a vlastne od zacatku, prestoze se dotazovala, byla v opozici.  Nakonec totiz napsala, ze spolecnost Nevychovy musi vydelavat dost penez, kdyz kurz stoji 5 000 CZK a ze ona jim rozhodne prispivat nebude. 

Vetsinou tyto dotazy nekomentuji. Kazdy ma na výchovu a vychovne pristupy ruzne nazory. Nekdo to umi sam od prirody byt respektujicim rodicem nebo ten koncept chape a vi, jak na to. Já ten typ nejsem. Nekdo nechce na sobe pracovat. Nekomu se pristup, jakym ho vychovali rodice líbil a aplikuje ho i na sve deti, protoze si neumi predstavit ani nic jineho. Takovy clovek by ani jine pristupy nevyhledaval. Nekdo rika, ze taky vyrostl a je z nej slušný člověk, tak co na te výchově je.

Tak alespon zde na tomto blogu bych chtela osvetlit, proc jsou nektere kurzy zdánlivě "drahe". Netýká se to pouze Nevýchovy. Pro mne totiz tyto dotazy zni podobne, jako proc je kurz anglictiny takhle drahy, kdyz se anglicky muzu naucit sama z knizky pro samouky, která stojí 350 CZK.

Když se učíte cizí jazyk bez ucitele podle knížky pro samouky (nemám na mysli např. Slovenštinu:)), ještě například bez výjezdu na dělší pobyt do země, kde je tento jazyk mateřštinou, je tato cesta na velmi velmi dlouhou trať s nejistým výsledkem. To, co stálo mé studium angličtiny mé rodiče, za což jsem jim velmi vděčna, ani nejsem schopna vyčíslit. To ani dopredu neslo. Kdybych se za 5 000 CZK naučila anglicky, tak abych za to dostala diplom na VŠ a mohla se tím profesionálně živit, bylo by to velmi velmi levné.  Navíc u cizích jazyků je problém v tom, že se jazyk neustále vyvíjí a nelze se dál nevzdělávat, což znamená neustále nějaké investice, byť pouze předplatné na Netflixu.

Pokud budu mluvit konkrétne o kurzu Nevýchovy, tak když jsem kurz kupovala zajímalo mne, jestli mne Nevýchova naučí, jak vychovat pohodový citlivý sebevedomý dítě, s nimž budu mít hezký láskyplný vztah, a zároveň budu umět respektovat jeho jedinečnou povahu, budu nadšená. Tohle mi za 5 000 stojí.

Ten vztah je na celý život. Ta cena je nevyčíslitelná.

Kolik na tom vydělá poslečnost Nevýchovy mne nezajímalo. Zajímalo mne, co mi to přinese. Říkala jsem si, že to mimino, kterýmu byl měsíc je už najednou osm měsíců, čas tak rychle plyne. Všude jsem četla, že už bysme jí měli začít nějak vychovávat.. Ale jak? Moc mi to vychovávání nesedělo. Na druhou stranu naše malá už v šesti měsících lezla a seděla a objevovala intenzivně svět. Jenže my jsme nechteli jit tou cestou "ucitel" - nekdy policajt. ˇPořád říkat "Nenene, to se nedělá. To hodný holčičky přece nedělají". Nevedela jsem, ale jak na ten náš přístup přijít bez velké újmy. Mozna bychom na to doma prisli, jenze ten cas tak rychle bezi, ze mi to proste přišlo nemožný, abychom na to přišli rychle, zvlast kdyz naše zkušenosti s miminky byly omezené:). Můj manžel se se mnou málem rozvedl, když se dozvěděl, že jsem si koupila kurz Nevýchovy. Pro něj to byly nejdřív vyhozené peníze. Myslel, že my si na ten přístup přijdeme sami. Nakonec úplně nicméně celou situaci přehodnotil a když viděl, že jeho vztah s dcerkou je ode dne lepší a toho ani tolik udělat nemusel, tak byl nadšený. Přiznal, že to byly i pro něj nejlépe utracené peníze. Já jsem byla opravdu ráda, protože pro mne je jejich vztah také důležitý, i když je to pouze mezi nimi.

Co to prineslo mne? Přinejmenším mne to donutilo a nutí:

  1. si uvědomit, že se mám učit respektovat sama sebe, že děti se opravdu učí nápodobou a pokud tak budu dělat já, naučí se tomu i naše malá.
  2. naučit se odpočívat a tak se jako matka na mateřský nezbláznit, protože naše dcera mne neustále nepotřebuje mít u sebe:). Proto šiju:).
  3. lépe zvládat svůj vlastní vztek a netrpělivost
  4. více se snazit být respektující i v jiných vtazích
  5. méně kritizovat a být méne negativní:)

Momentálně si užíváme nevynucované pusinky a hlazení od naší Elišky. Možná je to běžné pro děti v jejím věku. Srovnávání mne nezajímá. Mne zajímá, co máme doma teď. Jasně, že se vzteká, nekřičí - ječí, bere veci detem a nechce se delit. Je to masakr. Naše Eli je fakt divoký vznetlivec - má to v genech. Já jí díky Nevýchově za to nemlátím. Za to mi těch pět tisíc stálo:)). Ale o tom už jsem psala:).

V ČR má stále plno lidí pocit, že veškeré vzdělání má být zdarma. Když to tak náhodou není nebo to není podhodnocené, tak je to nehoráznost. Myslím, že základní, střední a VŠ by mělo být neplacené. Ale pokud se jedná o nějakou nadstavbu nebo speciální kurz, na kterém někdo tvrde pracuje a vy z toho i něco máte, proč by to nemel mít zaplacené? Vždyť my všichni chceme být oceněni za dobre odvedenou práci nebo snad ne? Mám pocit, že jsme všichni utratili více jak 5 tisíc za věci s krátkodobým efektem nevalné kvality a to včetně těch kurzů - co se týče jazykových, bývají to práve hlavně ty nejlevnější....Zde totiž ve vetšině případu zkušení učitelé nebudou. Na to nemají jednoduše čas:).

Jeden malý tip závěrem. Když už nemůžu, lezu po zdi, nemám náladu a nikdo mne nemůže vystřídat, atd. tak si vezmu do ruky moje levandulový vonítko. Promnu ho v ruce. Pohazuju si s ním. Dávám si ho na oči:). Vše tak dlouho, dokud se neuklidním:). Je to fakt hodně příjemný, protože je zde krom levandule rýže. Kdybyste taky jedno potřebovali, najdete je zde.

Poznámka 1: Kurz Nevychova je online kurz zamerený na to, jak vychovávat deti partnerským způsobem. Více zde.

Poznámka 2: Mohli jste si všimnout, že v textu občas pokulhává diakritika. Bohužel webový poskytovatel nenabízí všechna písmena v češtině, tak proto:(.

Potty training

Diapers, nappies, potty, potty training, elimination method, never-ending discussions about peeing and pooing

Potty training is a big thing in our country. I must admit that one of the reasons why I bought cloth diapers before my daughter was born was how much I had been influenced by that kind of "culture". Another reason was I didn't want her to have any chemicals on her baby skin but the potty idea was very strong at the back of my mind. I was horrified at the idea of having a child who would be two and still had a nappy. LOL!!! I thought kids should be using the potty when they are 1,5 years old at the latest or something like that. Pretty naive, right? 

For my defense, you can get brainwashed pretty easily when everywhere you go, you hear things like: "You should put your child on the potty the moment s/he is able to sit up". "She is two and still has a diaper? My Tom was without it when he was 18 months old". Not only will you hear it from from your mum, your grand mum but even from some other mums with kids. Argh! 

Their idea is that a child older than two or three should be without a nappy. Full stop. If not, it's unacceptable! Their training would include all sorts of methods including humiliating ones. Some of these methods, one of which I am going to describe later, are unfortunately used by some. One of such methods is making kids wear wet tights:(.

Elimination communication

I have also heard about "elimination communication (=bezplenková metoda)". Sounds scientific, right? However, Wikipedia tells me that this method "is inspired by traditional practices of diaperless baby care in less industrialized countries and hunter-gatherer cultures". Once I found out what this mysterious method is, I didn't believe it could work.  (This was before giving a birth. ) The point is that you need to recognize the timing, signals and cues your baby gives you and you take him/her to a place where they can pee or poo. That place isn't a nappy but a toilet. You need to start very early. If you start with a baby that is six months and older, you probably won't succeed using this method.  In the end I've had to change my mind about this method. Why? I have seen how it works and that it actually works. Some of the mums I know have been practicing it and they are more than happy with the results.And since we keep watching kids so closely all the time, I am sure you can learn and tell when they need to pee and poo. 

Our potty training

Back to our story. A few months after my daughter was born, I enrolled in a course about respectful parenting. Applying this approach I reevaluated a lot of things including potty training. I accepted the idea that you let the kid decide freely when they are ready to get rid of the diaper. We introduced a potty to our Eli when she was eight months old. Yes, she sat on it and used it in the right sense when she was nine months old. She used it now and again but nothing regular. From time to time I told her how happy I would be when she would go diaperless (bez plenky). She was using the potty when  she remembered. Then suddenly we had a major stuck. She didn't want to use even a diaper to do her poop. It was very stressful. She would cry and fidget when she couldn't hold it any longer. No explaining helped. I couldn't do anything about it. So we let her be, helped her, held her and a month later she went almost diaperless.

How did Eli go diaperless

One day, we were on a kind of a trip with a friend and her daughter. Our Eli was about 22 months old, she saw our friend's daughter and her friend going to the toilet. She wanted to use it too. "Ok", I said. "Let's go". We went and she didn't want a fresh nappy. Since then she has been using the potty, toilet, holes in the ground, etc. where she would pee. It took her about a month to get used to it completely. At the beginning I kept asking her if she needed a toilet. She seemed annoyed by that question so I stopped asking. I was kind of afraid of nights - that she would be drenched in urine and would get cold. Hmm, really I thought that:/..  I gave her nappies for a week in the evening. Then I stopped because I realized that by giving her diapers, I showed her I didn't trust her.  Nights in Eli's case were never really a problem.

Current situation

So far she has had only minor accidents. I was nervous when we were to go on a 2-hour trip. Lucky me. She has been managing these trips just fine - without accidents. I was She is 2 and 3 months today and she is pretty confident about using the toilet. She can tell us she needs it at anytime even during the play. Only at night when she wakes up in a bad mood, I know I must ask if she needs it.

I feel much freer today but I still carry around spare clothes just in case:). 

We don't have any special ladder for Eli to climb to the toilet or any other wonderful inventions. We only have a smaller toilet seat.

Challenges

The biggest problem of all was to find a small size knickers for Eli:). She was quite picky at the beginning. She requested the ones with her favourite animal - cats:). 

Sometimes she wants to use a potty, sometimes a toilet.

Our daughter wants to read in the toilet and she sometimes asks me to hold her hands:).

Tips and ideas

  • I explained what we all do in the toilet. I am sure your kid already knows that. Our daughter used to knock at the toilet door to get in whenever my husband was there:).
  • I can only say from experience that pushing your kids is not the right way to go. They will know if they are ready or not. Once they decide they are, I believe there will be hardly any accidents and will go diaperless completely.
  • If my baby were younger than six months old, I'd try the elimination communication. 
  • I'd definitely avoid using "humiliating methods". They may not work if your kid isn't mentally ready for using the toilet.
  • You can take a peeing doll and make it sit it on the potty.  Then your kid do it according to the example.
  • Letting your kids running around naked in the summer might help to get rid of diapers but not always. So don't get disappointed if it doesn't work out.
  • Your kid can choose a potty, knickers/ boxers in the shop. It might help getting rid of the diaper.
  • I wouldn't believe the idea that the child is lazy and wants to keep the diaper. I'd believe the child is simply not ready.
  • Some kids sleep so tight that they simply cannot wake themselves up for the toilet. It isn't their fault. They don't do it on purpose (schválně). As I have heard it may last until they are five year old but then disappears from day to day (ze dne na den).
  • There are probably many other tips and ideas to teach and motivate kids to the toilet. But you know your child best so I am sure you won't need to follow any so called proven methods. Sometimes trust is enough.

Don't worry! You will manage too!

 

 

Sleeping in one bed

Reading another article about what parents should do with their baby to make them sleep in their own room and their own bed makes me really sad. 

I understand we all have our reasons why we do such things. However imagine a newborn, a little baby that is helpless, waving her little hands around her little head, crouching her forehead, opening and closing the eyes. Who would leave this tiny thing crying alone in a dark room because she wants to be cuddled by her mum? Let's just put ourselves in the shoes of the little one for a while ... Is your heart breaking too? Can you feel the distance and coldness that is almost tangible?

The parents who do that might not have bad reasons, they might want to do everything correctly and read they should do it this way somewhere in the book for parents. They might be scared their kid will be spoilt if they sleep with her/him in their bed. 

My simple question is since when we adults started liking sleeping in bed alone? Oh, yes, it's right that kids want to sleep with their mums when they are sick or simply something is troubling them. Mum's energy and cuddles have sooting and healing effect. I say it's great kids know what and who can help them in need:)! Besides, human beings have been used to sleeping in one bed, under one piece of animal fur for maybe hundred of years. We're programmed that way. Why we want to undo something that feels so natural and start something that is probably practical but somehow not welcoming to those little creatures who totally depend on us...By the way, there are a few ways to solve it if you don't want your baby take your all bed crawling all over you all night. You can take one side of bars of your kid's cot and attach it to your bed. There are even cots that are made for that purpose!

Our daughter had her own cot too. The cot was attached to our double bed. Whenever she wanted to sleep with us, she did. Today our situation is a bit different - we have a sort of interim arrangement.  We are refurbishing our flat. Our daughter's bed has become too small for he. So we had it made. It's actually being made. Where is she sleeping then? In our bed:). We are OK she is with us there and we wouldn't have it any other way. We are sure that when the right time comes, she will sleep in her bed for good.

Good night!

Christmas presents overload

"A short Christmas break, no time to relax, too many presents for the kids" ....Hmm, someone's Christmas must have been pretty overwhelming ...

I've heard more mums complaining that their kids got far too many presents by their grandparents and extended families. Poor kids just managed to open all the presents not no mention play with them and the visit was over. They had to rush and visit some other relatives where another pile was waiting to be released from the wrapping paper.

Presents and grandparents generosity overloaded the whole idea of Christmas and the biggest present of all - a family spending their time together. It's sad, right? But it's Christmas! And most of us want to make our mums, dads, grand mums, etc. happy. So we decide to spend Christmas Eve and Boxing Day and New Year's Eve and New Year with them. We usually go and visit them in their homes which used to be ours at one point. And since it isn't our home anymore nor is your spouse's, you don't feel that relaxed there. Your mum in-law says you should be stricter with your kid and "give them some boundaries", the kid shouldn't shout and run around. They tell your kids all kinds of things you disagree with but it's Christmas, so you don't oppose. Our Christmas could have been pretty similar except for kids shouting and running around. It is OK in our families and nobody is concerned with "stipulating kids boundaries" if they don't trespass ours:). And fortunately my mum discusses presents for our daughter!

My husband and I spent our Christmas Eve at home and we have done so since we decided to spend Christmas together. This year we had no plan nor timing. We ate Czech style sandwiches which I prepared a day before and cookies my mum made. We played with our daughter, let her watch her first long fairy tale and had Christmas dinner at 8 pm when all of us were hungry:)). We opened our presents at 4 pm so that Eliska had time to play with them. Actually we gave her one present in the morning so that she had enough time to play with it. She got three presents from us including a book:). 

The next following days we visited our family and "undertook" a visit per day. 

And yes, in total our Eli got a lot of presents. Honestly I am not very happy about it because she might learn she will always get a lot of presents, which I would like to limit next year.  However, all the presents she got are beautiful....I would love to get some of them too!!!:)).

The result? Has she been playing with them? Definitely. She has loved playing with all of them. Maybe that's why I cannot make her go out these days - she is so busy:)!

What's your score? Too many presents too? How many presents is your OK number?

Xmas presents overload.jpg

Jak to mám s tou výchovou a fyzickým trestání dětí

K zamyšlení:
Francie v létě schválila zákon, který zakazuje rodičům tělesně trestat své děti. A i když je dle zdroje prý vágní, podle mne je to skvělý krok vpřed a ukazuje na kultivovanou a respektující společnost. V Irsku takový zákon schválili již na konci roku 2015. 
Kdyžtak o tom tak přemýšlím zatímco toto píšu, přijde mi to, že to je stejně jako kdybych psala o něčem, co nám dnes přijde stejně nepřípustné ukazující na nevyspělou společnost jako např. otrokářství (zrušení zač. 19.st.) nebo popírání práv ženám, atd....
Přitom my dospělí také nechceme, aby na nás někdo vztahoval ruku, když se nám něco nepovede, řekneme něco, co je tzv. mimo mísu, atd.
Já sama jsem rodič a vím, že se člověk nachází v situacích, kdy by chtěl prostě uhodit. Nervy mi pracují, když jsem unavená, ale podle mne jsme to my dospělí - rodiče, kdo musí zvládnout své emoce. Děti se to učí a učí se to od nás. Vidím to denně na naší dceři, jak mnoho prostoru pro zlepšení máme. Dítě se učí od nás nápodobou a my musíme jít příkladem. 
Výchova dětí je sama o sobě náročná. Vždyť jsme to skoro nikdo z nás nevystudoval a i když jste učitel, tak doma to je o něčem jiném. 
Jen jsem chtěla říct, že fyzické trestání dětí není nikdy neřešením. Chápu to nutkání plácnout. Vaše dítě se vzteká, válí se po zemi a nic nefunguje. Domluva, výhružky, křik... Čím víc tlačíte na pilu, tím je to horší. Jste čím dál tím více zoufalí, nevíte, jak to řešit a nahodí se program, který asi znáte z dětství...
Několik maminek mi to potvrdilo, že i když plácly své děti, stejně se nedostavila očekávaná náprava.

Podle mne fyzickým trestem ukazujeme, jak neefektivně řešit budoucí situace....

Americký psycholog John Bradshaw, který se věnoval problematice vnitřního dítěte, atd. mluví ve svém pořadu o tom, že většinu lidí, kteří jsou dnes ve vězení za nejrůznější delikty tam v podstatě dostali jejich rodiče díky tomu, jak se k nim chovali v dětství... Zde odkaz na video John Bradshaw.

Co pomohlo mně? Nevýchova:). Hodně lidí si myslí, že to je liberální výchova, že vám bude dítě skákat po hlavě a utíkat přes silnici a plno dalších nesmyslů. Nevýchova vám pomůže, aby to tak nebylo. A když se to náhodou někdy stane, tak vám pomůže, abyste za to dítěti nenaplácali. Protože pak by vám to bylo líto a oba byste to obrečeli. Jak to teď říct. Je to nejlepší online kurz, který jsem kdy absolvovala a který mě dovedl k úplně něčemu jinému než je výchova. Dovedl mne ke mně samé a pochopení, že výchova mé dcery je hlavně o mně a o tom, jak na sobě budu pracovat já:).

Plno úspěchů s výchovou dětí přeje MUM WHO CARES:)!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I won't write any moving words about wishing the world peace and us coming to understanding why certain things are happening to us, why we should love ourselves, etc., etc.

Only simply, let us try to happy every moment of our being:)!

MUM WHO CARES!

Easy Christmas decorations - doable even by toddlers:)

I have wanted to post it sooner but ...:). I have been so busy doing all the Christmas presents in the evenings that I hardly had time for anything really.

Anyway, here is the tip on how to make very simple Christmas decorations that your toddlers can do almost "by themselves". You just need to prepare a few things.

What you need:

Cardboard (krabicový papír)

Cotton wool (vata)

Aluminium foil (alobal) for baking, or even from some sweets (I used the golden wrapping we had on the chocolate coins)

Wrapping paper (balici papir)

Ribbon

Glue

Hole punch (děrovacka)

How to:

1. Cut out some Christmas shapes out of the cardboard: e.g. a ball, heart, tree, bell, fish, star, etc.

2. Tear some cotton wool and aluminium foil - I guess this will be great fun for kids:).

3. Let your kid glue the "shape" and stick the cotton wool or aluminium foil on the cardboard

4. Punch a hole in the decoration and put the ribbon through

Decoration is ready to be hung:).

 

 

 

Monkey Sophie Chant

Eventually a small present for all Mum Who Cares followers below:). 

The monkey was made by Rozmar Kopecka. If interested, go and check her FB (Rozmar Kopecka) and maybe you will find some presents for your kids or friends or yourselves:).

And now back to the chant. When I was a teacher, I loved using chants in the classroom. My students loved them.

The point is when saying/reading a chant, it's necessary to read it loudly and in the rhythm. Each line is read as if one sentence. Never read more. I hope you will have fun. 

PEACEFUL PREPARATIONS FOR CHRISTMAS!

WITH LOVE & IMPERFECTION

MUM WHO CARES

Terezka (Eli) - a teddy bear with the wardrobe

I would like to share a very short story about the new bear. As you know, I had time to make one more. I called it Terezka after its new "mum" (Terezka, 2,5 yrs). I tried to make it according to her wishes and the bear has blue eyes because the real Terezka has them too. She has these incredibly big blue eyes that draw attention and you cannot stop looking at her. It was supposed to be a Xmas present but Terezka's mum gave her the bear for Saint Nicolas. The little girl has been having high temperatures and she has been enduring this difficult time with patience and bravery. Terezka called the bear Eli (after our daughter):). So no names for teddies anymore:)).

I hope Terezka will be a good mummy to "her new little girl" Eli.

Clothes: sweatshirt (mikina), skirt, sleeveless shirt (triko bez rukávu)

Clothes: sweatshirt (mikina), skirt, sleeveless shirt (triko bez rukávu)

Clothes: Sleeveless shirt, trousers

Clothes: Sleeveless shirt, trousers

Clothes: dress (šaty)

Clothes: dress (šaty)

Terezka can take her teddy anywhere:)

Terezka can take her teddy anywhere:)

The complete wardrobe:)

The complete wardrobe:)

My tips for presents for your little ones

Xmas is knocking on our doors. Especially the doors behind which you will find little kids.

My husband and I have decided we are not going to lie to our daughter about who brings Christmas presents.  Generally kids in the Czech Republic are told that it is Baby Jesus who brings their presents. We tell our daughter we give each other presents for Christmas because we love each other. We also tell her we celebrate the birth of baby Jesus during this time.  We don' t tell her Baby Jesus might bring her presents if she is a well-behaved girl. We disagree with this idea. We would like her to behave well, i.e. behave respectfully no matter what holidays are ahead such as Saint Nicolas or Christmas. 

My tips - mainly for small girls

1. Books (Czech)

Indigové pohádky (Indigo fairy tales)

This fairy tale book consists of nine tales based on modern life and situations parents solve with kids (e.g. cleaning, believing in yourself, etc). Each tale has a morale which is enlightening - at least for me. Nothing like when you are not super intelligent, you will end up badly and your husband will beat you up... Our daugher's favourite (2 yrs) is the one about a boy called Bumbác who is very clumsy but in the end he learns he needs to trust himself.

http://www.indigovepohadky.cz/

The next book I recommend is a series of books which introduces the four seasons and all the activities and vocabulary for small kids.

Zima (Winter) - you can also find - Spring, Summer, Autumn

Gruffallo

Our daughter adores this book. A beautiful little story about a little mouse that outwits animals that would like to catch it and a monster animal that it invents that turns out to be real in the end:).

2. Toys

Handmade teddy bears

Our daughter loves these teddies. Mainly because she can move with their limbs and change their clothes:).

Kitchen for little girls

Little girls love playing with these kitchens. Thanks to this "toy" you will have some time off:).

Ani muk

www.ani-muk.cz

This "toy" is a box which contains some materials depending on the topic you choose, e.g. Ice Queen, Puppets, etc. The whole idea is to encourage kids' creativity. Needless to say, it is for a bit older kids (from 4 years old to older).

Intellect ball

This ball is supposed to be for older kids and addictive.

Play doh

This doh is amazing. Kids love creating from it. It's much better than the old "modelína".

Creative suitcase (3+)

This is Piklik that has a lot of creative ideas:).

http://www.piklezpytle.cz/designove-kufrikove-domecky/

Wooden fruit and vegetables on the chopping board (brand Eichhorn)

Ever since our daughter got this from our friend (for her second Christmas when she was one), she has loved it. It has been her favourite toy. She is two and she still loves it:).

Water wow (Melissa & Doug)

This water reveal pad is wonderful. Great for travelling. I wouldn' t believe our daughter would spend so much time colouring. The great thing about it is that it has a brush you fill with water. There are no water spills or anything.

Giraffe, Horsie, Goat, Pig, etc. (FATRA)

You can get these lovely toys here.

 

Dolls

There is a great selection of dolls. Our daughter is two years old. She loves bigger dolls now. The ones that have some functions, e.g. cries, says "Hi", etc. Some of dolls even pee or cry tears. The doll we bought is called Bambolina. I know that dolls called Annabel and Chou chou are also very popular.

Teepee

A great place for kids to play and hide.

www.detskestany.cz

 

Train sets, bikes, teepees, crayons, etc will certainly be welcome by our little ones as well.

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Lavender love - homemade lavender lotion

Lavender blue, lavender purple, lavender essential oils, fragrance, dry lavender sticks and blossom, lavender pillows, lotions, creams and many other products. 

Oh, oh, I have also fallen in love with lavender.  It has forced me make my own products. In the summer I decided I would try to make my own lavender oil. I found a super easy recipe (fresh lavender and olive oil) and I was more than pleased with the outcome. The fragrance is real not plastic and that there are no harmful substances, e.g. paraben and preservatives

A while ago I had an idea to make my own lavender lotion. A super easy recipe popped out on me. Check it out. The recipe consists of only three ingredients:

1. 1/3 cup of coconut oil

2. 5 drops of lavender essential oil

3. 1tbsp of beeswax

I used the coconut oil I had from Dm drogerie. As for lavender essential oil I bought the one from the company Nobilis and it's organic. The most difficult part about the whole production was to find beeswax and container for the lotion. Finally I bought both in the e-shop called EKOKOZA. Ekokoza offers various kinds of wax, which was surprising to me:).

I followed this fast recipe here.

The author of the recipe recommends mixing the cold mixture at the end. I didn't do that and the lotion is fine and soft without it as well.

I probably added too much of the beeswax and so the lotion smells of it. However, the lotion is great, quite greasy but soaks fast enough.

What I am enjoying most is that I can make lotion like that myself.  On top of that it's super fast and easy and you don't need any special equipment. Actually you could do it with kids as well:). I am sure they would love it!

Now thinking about it, it could actually be a good idea for a Xmas present:).  OK, so let's get back to work!

 

 

The Angel of Strength - for anyone struggling right now

We all have moments when we are feeling lonely, empty, tired, exhausted, desperate and simply not loving ourselves. Fighting with ourselves.

I've decided to draw an Angel that will help us at such times. And yesterday during a very strong full moon that led my hand this Angel was born.

Here comes the Angel of Strength. This Angel is for anybody that is having a difficult time, struggling and simply not feeling that well.

I hope it will help just a bit:).